Jones Omens

Sometimes when I go to the grocery-store I buy an ice-cold orange flavoured Jones Soda for Mag, she likes the fortunes. My last one said "today you saved a child's eyesight...thank you".

Yesterday, I skateboarded to the Quality Save or Safe Food or Food Quality or whatever to get some salad-fixings and I saw the neon-orange soda glowing at me from the fridges and I thought "I should surprise Mag with a soda", so I went to get one, "but which one?" I thought to myself. They all have different photos printed on the label and I usually take the photo as an indication of what sort of good fortune will be inside. Yesterday as I pondered over which soda to pick I saw one without a label and I thought "that's gotta be good luck". So I grabbed it and got my other groceries and headed for the check-out.

Because I'm an environmentally-friendly young buck I stuffed my groceries in my knapsack and headed out the front-door to ride my environmentally-friendly skateboard home. Because I'm a show-off I decided to ollie over a path of destruction in the parking lot. It was a little gravel patch where they were doing construction, ollie popped cleanly, solid landing, but unfortunately I landed with a rock under my front wheel and was tossed violently upon the ashphalt like a frog into a fire. The pavement felt like fire on my skin, my hide is pretty raw these days since I just recovered from a 2nd degree sunburn. But I brushed myself off and pulled up my socks and headed on my way.

Later in my travels, about 20 seconds later to be exact, I noticed a sticky residue on my hands, this sticky residue smelled delicious, like citrus and carbonation...and broken glass. I opened my water-proof bag to discover a pool of soda-pop, fruit and bread. The movie I had just rented was floating in this swamp as well. I salvaged what I could and threw my entire bag in the nearest garbage can.

Don't judge a soda by it's cover. That soda was 100% delicious bad luck.