Memory Sick and the Swine

Shadows of a past self are wandering into my life here. I spent the last 10 months living with three guys my age, sharing a home distilled of any personality. Forest green couches, tan walls, calming blue sofas, desks and cupboards of wallpaper wood, every room the same, every room matching perfectly. Set to a tone of unassuming. Now I'm here in my 6' by 10' room, half of the space occupied by a bed, a tiny dresser and a book-shelf that's so thin it might as well be built into the wall. The kitchen is littered with doodles and notes from the past, the house is like a picturebook with it's pages of history everywhere. It's like being back in Ben's place, everywhere there's evidence of the humanity and friendship that's grown inside, in res there's only the mystery of who else has slept in the bed you sleep in every night.

My roommates are two sisters around my age but there's always a group of stragglers around. All of these people I've met have had me wondering about the pieces of me that are scattered everywhere. I've shed a lot of skin in a lot of places, I wonder how healthy that is. Am I stretching myself thin across the places I've been and among the people I've met? Or am I becoming a bigger man with all I've eaten and seen? I don't know, sometimes it feels like I haven't learned or grown a lot at all and that if I stop searching and soaking I might run out of time to figure it all out.

I wanted to take some photos of the new house but my camera is broken, the best I got was this photo of me on our patio. We have a nice barbecue on the patio, and a couch too. This is me sitting on the couch after getting showered in the rain. My sweater is currently hanging up and actually dripping onto the floor.













This is the night me and the Frenchies tried to catch crab for dinner, we had Wendys instead. Fatih, Nicolas, me, Lucas, Todd, and the adopted roommate, Asher.













I've been working a lot at a restaurant called The Lighthouse Bistro, it's fast fun job, but the nights are late and it's turning me into what I was when I worked 70 hours a week before moving here. I'm also having a lot of barbecues, skating too much (body is currently covered in burns, scrapes, roadrash and a pretty sweet tan), and trying to focus on being a cook. I've been trying to up the ante at school with varying success. Oh I've also been dabbling in wading in profound confusion about the current direction of my life. Sometimes having choices is more restricting and frustrating than it is liberating.

The old man and sister Sproule are making their way out in September, I'm pretty excited. I'm probably gonna hitch a ride back to Ottawa for a visit.

I won a free lunch on Friday by diving into the ocean. There IS a such thing as a free lunch.

I sort of always thought I'd never be where I am, I didn't think I'd ever graduate from something or complete something. In a month and a half I'll have reached a goal, probably for the first time in my life. Even with everything that's going on, I am craving some serious changes, it must be spring.

I might have been the first Canadian swine victim.